  WHAT IS MINDFULNESS? Mindfulness practice is a form of paying attention to what is happening in the present moment. - Your thoughts - Your emotions - Your sensations - What is happening NOW The concept of being mindful as practiced in the West is based on Eastern Buddhist philosophy. Buddhist practice includes spiritual teaching steeped in thousands of years of tradition and practice. Western psychologists have been utilizing some of the principles of mindfulness with increasing frequency and with great success.  The power of mindfulness lies in its ability to help you to hold contradicting ideas of acceptance of the present alongside your commitment and actions towards ongoing change. Mindfulness practice can become a powerful tool to help you create the outcomes you desire in your life. You practice how to “peacefully abide” with yourself AND tolerate your present reality even as you become… In so doing, you temper your need to be judgmental and harshly critical of yourself. Instead, you practice the skill of compassion or loving-kindness towards yourself. The result is that you increase emotional skills like: - Patience - Tolerance - Hope - Internal calm - Love - Self- acceptance - Kindness For example, when it feels like you don’t have space to handle one more thing, you can practice simply observing yourself having those thoughts, emotions, or sensations – and doing only that (no judging yourself as to why aren’t you stronger, smarter, better – no wishing that your reality was different – no downing yourself or others for not being there for you enough etc. etc. etc. – you know how we all can get sometimes). I personally find I’m most susceptible to negative thinking and leaving my calm internal space when I’m overly busy and or I have a lot of people depending on me.  How about you? Where and when are you most vulnerable to losing your calm center? 5 Great Reads on Mindfulness 1. The Power of Now – Eckhart Tolle 2. Wherever You Go There You Are – Jon Kabat Zinn, PhD 3. The Untethered Soul – Michael Singer 4. Radical Acceptance – Tara Brach, PhD. 5. Do It Now – Triphinia Margaret Wallace, PhD. All are available online at www.amazon.com  THE POWER OF NOW – Eckhart Tolle Eckhart Tolle’s book, The Power of NOW, provides an excellent place to start in your understanding of the practice of being present. Success is fashioned in the moment. Time waits for no (wo)man… It’s the little steps you take right now that combine and accumulate to make a seismic difference over time. How often have you observed to yourself, “Where did the TIME go?” Regret and self-recrimination often follow when you focus on the past or the future. In fact, not keeping your attention on what is in front of you could cause you to miss the opportunities life is presenting you NOW. When we spend too much energy and time looking back on things we wished we had done in the past, many of us experience sadness and regret. On the other end of the spectrum, many of us get caught in the trap of worrying about situations that have not yet arrived. That throws us into an anxious state. There are few to no SHOULDs in life! If you catch yourself beating yourself up about what you “should have done, or what you should have said, or how things should be, perhaps you might feel better if you substitute the “should” for a word like wish or want. For example, instead of saying, “I should be making more money at this stage of my life,” try this instead: I wish I was making more money at this stage of my life. Or I want to make more money at this stage of my life. WHEREVER YOU GO, THERE YOU ARE – Jon Kabat Zinn Mindfulness is not just something you think about in your head. It’s something you DO! Initially, I found mindfulness meditation practice to be challenging, clumsy, and uncomfortable in my body - painful even. The notion of slowing down? Taking a break? I felt like a lush! I could hardly sit still. Anxiety, I realized, was my drug of choice!   I noticed how I would do this little number of “going blank,” when in response to thoughts like: “It’s too much!” or “I can’t take it anymore!” Over the years as a therapist, I was motivated to explore various forms of meditation to help my clients. For example, Kundalini meditation focuses on moving energy up and out of the body towards the divine. For me, that type of meditation is sweet, juicy stuff that allows me to briefly take a break from my feelings in the present. The thing is, that type of meditation was not the path for me to learn how to competently experience and tolerate anxiety as it coursed its way through my body. The result? I would feel sweet relief during the meditation; but a rapid return to the ball of nervousness that left me constantly waiting for the other shoe to drop (e.g. sick, raw, knowing feeling in the pit of your stomach that you have no reason or evidence for but that just keeps hanging around). In fact, sometimes, I’d work double- time to create situations where the other shoe would drop – just so I could confirm my theory that shoes in fact, do drop! Sound familiar? Sigh…Over time, and with much practice, it was with and through Mindfulness meditation that I finally learned how to BE WITH MYSELF. Over time, and with much practice, it was with and through Mindfulness meditation that I finally built experience and confidence in my ability to hold emotions that feel bad in my body. Wherever You Go, There You Are, gives a relatable and simple method or path towards nurturing a sense of being mind-ful as we go about our daily lives. The author, Dr. Kabat-Zinn is a well-known psychologist and researcher who has successfully studied the use of Mindfulness to manage mental health challenges like depression – particularly treatment-resistant depression. According to www.goodreads.com this book: “Speaks both to those coming to meditation for the first time and to long-time practitioners.”
 THE UNTETHERED SOUL – Michael Singer The first time I saw Michael Singer, he was on an episode of The Oprah Show. He was discussing this book. His words so stirred me that I quickly bought the book. I can say without equivocation that this is the ONE book that most succinctly described in words the tyranny I had been living through as I experienced my thoughts and feelings in my body. Even better, The Untethered Soul explained HOW to get out of my head and into my body. This is one book I needed to read in slow, focused chunks of time because Singer’s words are so powerful that although it took time to integrate the material, you realize how much you must read every word. MINDFULNESS IS… - Mindfulness is about staying with yourself. NOW. ALWAYS. NOW - Mindfulness is about observing without judgment, your thoughts, feelings, and sensations as they course through you - acknowledging what is happening NOW. - Mindfulness is about grounding yourself in whatever your present experience is versus jumping out of the experience into panic about the future – or sadness about the past. - Mindfulness is cultivated by engaging in purposeful acts like focusing on your breath, drawing out your breath, feeling the sensation of the air pass through your nostrils, feeling your emotions in real time without judgment, allowing your thoughts to pass on by, or rest, or whatever – all the while maintaining a sense of compassion for yourself as you remain the Observer of yourself.  o It NOW! A 7-Step Plan to Break Bad Habits Triphinia Margaret Wallace, Ph.D. In Do It NOW! Dr. Wallace explains the importance of using the power and energy of the NOW moment to create the life you desire. After all, NOW is all you always only have… See more resources from Dr. Wallace at www.drtriphi.com Common Bad Habits that Block Success
HOW TO RE-TRAIN YOUR BRAIN FOR SUCCESS These MENTAL PUSHUPS will strengthen your mimd. 1. Breathe. When we feel anxious or afraid – a common response to when we feel threatened or challenged, the breath becomes short, shallow, erratic. Think about your breath as if it were a remote control for your brain. Shortness of breath triggers your brain to activate the stress response (fight/flight/freeze). Slow, deep breaths trigger a relaxation response. Do this often to learn how to breathe your way through tough emotions. DO THIS BREATHING EXERCISE NOW! Take a few deep breaths all the way into your belly. Intentionally slow down your breath. Imagine you’re stretching it out like a rubber band. Take in as much oxygen as you can all the way into your lower belly. 2. Move Your Body. Your body goes haywire (stomach hurts, chest tightens up, hands sweat, voice trembles, butterflies in your tummy, throat clogs up, chills, headaches) when you feel stressed. Next time you feel overwhelmed by an emotion, start moving your body to encourage it to shift away from these physiological responses and generate different body sensations that feel less uncomfortable. Every -BODY - is different. Know How Your Body Responds to Stress. Use Your Body to Help your Brain make an Emotional Shift:
If you’re moving vigorously, your brain will become less likely to focus on your feelings or weird panicky thoughts. The physical movement helps by giving your brain an equally or more compelling task to focus on. Use DISTRACTION intentionally and to your benefit. 3. Think of AT LEAST 3 things to be Grateful For. Gratitude practice is one of the most effective ways to trigger the release of feel-good hormones and neurotransmitters in the brain. Do this NOW! Identify and list out loud AT LEAST three (3) things for which you’re grateful. Keep adding…Now write it down! 1._________________________________________________________________________ 2._________________________________________________________________________ 3._________________________________________________________________________ How do you feel after this GRATITUDE exercise? ______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ Whatever you focus on or give your attention to becomes bigger and more significant in your eyes. BE COURAGEOUS! Change is not easy; if it were, so many people wouldn’t be struggling with it. BE REALISTIC! Face the facts of your current situation and work within the range of what’s attainable for now. BE HONEST! Admit what you’re doing WRONG and CHANGE as necessary. BE SMART! Once you learn new and efficient habits, put the on automatic pilot.  RADICAL ACCEPTANCE – Tara Brach The small act of paying attention to the present, can help us pull ourselves back from the abyss of emotional and mental terrorism. I understand that some of your experiences have been so painful that your mind has a really hard time letting go of the injustice of it all. I’m human too, so I have my stories. There have been times after some therapy sessions when the trauma laced in the stories I’ve heard have been so heavy, I have lit candles and prayed for my own salvation! The thing is, events (traumatic or not) that have already happened – have ALREADY occurred. They are HISTORY. They are in the rear-view mirror. Past events exist on your historical timeline and therefore CANNOT BE CHANGED. What can you do to change the truth or the facts of something that has already occurred? Nothing. Regardless of your thoughts or feelings about it, you can’t change the facts of history. What then? The answer ... Acceptance. Tara Brach, author of Radical Acceptance, encourages that you do just that – ACCEPT things for what they are – as they are. That means we must appreciate that even if we reject the fact that these things might have happened, we ACCEPT the reality that these events have transpired, or we accept that what is in front of us, is what is in front of us. We avoid the trap of fantasy and we live in the present. You get to radically accept your ability to choose what you focus so that you can enjoy the sweetness of life – NOW. It’s a realistic choice. And it’s yours to make.  ADDITIONAL MINDFULNESS RESOURCES https://mindfulnessexercises.com/free-guided-meditations-mindfulness-talks/ offers countless mindfulness meditation resources including FREE meditations on numerous topics including - Emotional Chaos to Clarity - Deep Relaxation for Sleep - Everybody’s Crazy - Developing Compassion - Coming to Your Senses - Commitment, Attachment and Love When you remember to use the NOW mindset, this will lessen the feeling inside that you have somehow failed yourself. That’s important because worrying about what isn’t yet, agonizing over what might never be, or regretting what’s already come and gone will not change your reality. Thus, it is an inefficient way to use your creative energy. How so? - Well, for one, regardless of how perfectly we plan, how often does life ever unfold exactly as we imagined or envisioned? What if you CHOOSE to view all you’ve experienced up to this moment as a painting that can’t be erased? Here’s something that works for me When my mind becomes stuck, reminding myself of these TWO FACTs helps: - I cannot rewrite history – the PAST IS NEVER COMING BACK or - I have no way to guarantee how the future will play out that Ruminating on your failures can be addictive, but it’s utterly useless except if you’re doing an assessment to identify the LESSON and ways you can do it better with the next opportunity. Some of us indulge in feeling bad because it makes us feel special. In Psychology, this phenomenon is called secondary gain. Remember how your parents gave you that extra rub, that extra hug or extra kiss when you got sick? Its’ something like that. Some of us think that one way to get extra attention or love from people around us is to complain so they can be triggered to “help us” feel better. Try this instead – HELP YOURSELF! 2 Quick Tips to Break a Rumination Cycle 1. Accept your reality 2. Take a POSITIVE ACTION!  Finally,
TRACK YOUR PROGRESS TO MEASURE GAINS AND IDENTIFY LESSONS Journal your thoughts and create your own affirmations to help you as you meditate on some of the ideas that resonate from this post. ________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ Consider using the Do It NOW! Workbook/Journal to help you practice breaking unhelpful thought patterns and bad habits that have blocked your progress up to this point. Available for purchase on this site and at www.amazon.com Do It NOW!
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AuthorDr. Triphinia “Triphi” Margaret Wallace is a Licensed Psychologist in Atlanta, Georgia. She is also an Advanced Clinical Hypnotherapist and Reiki Level III practitioner in the Usui tradition. After over twenty-two years in clinical practice, Dr. Wallace has developed a neuro-psycho-spiritual approach to her practice that is grounded in Cognitive Behavior Therapy, Neuroscience, Creole Psychology, and Psycho-spiritual techniques such as Hypnotherapy, Mindfulness/Meditation, and Reiki. Dr. Triphi graduated from Fielding Graduate University in Santa Barbara, California and the University of Mississippi (Ole Miss). Her published academic works include a doctoral dissertation on the association among problem-solving appraisal, hopelessness, and suicide among low-income, African American women, and co-authored peer-reviewed articles on the relation between alcohol use and intimate partner violence, and the utilization of routine health screenings in the diagnosis of depression among African American adolescent males. Dr. Triphi published her first book, Do It NOW! A 7-Step Plan to Beat Bad Habits that Block Success in February 2018. In November of 2018, her second book; a companion workbook/journal called, Do It NOW Workbook/Journal: Powerful Exercises to Fix Bad Habits that Block Success, was released. Dr. Triphi regularly volunteers with the Red Cross conducting pre- and post-deployment reconnection and resiliency workshops with active, disabled, and retired military service members and their families. Most who know her describe Dr. Triphi as an empathetic practitioner, and an engaging presenter with a ready smile who receives rave reviews from those who listen to her teach. Archives
March 2021
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